Causes and Conditions

I was in a horrible mood and decided to blow off steam with a walk.  I noticed a dog I had never met was sitting in the front yard of a house in my neighborhood. He got up and ran down the front yard onto the street, straight at me. I instantly went into fear and ran.

When I felt far enough away, my fear melted away and anger began to rise. I was pissed! I instantly went into a rant. “How could they just leave that dog outside without a leash or fence!?” “How irresponsible is that person?!” “That dog is out of control!” “He tried to attack me!”

From then on, I was a person who loved dogs but not THAT dog. He was an a-hole. I feel horrendous saying that about a dog because I am such a dog person but it was how I felt.

For the next 8-months, I would look to see if the dog was in the front yard and if he was, I would walk the other way. I always had a harsh comment about the dog’s owner as I did.

Recently, it was a nice day and I was going for a walk. I decided to go by the house with THE dog. He wasn’t anywhere to be seen. As I walked by the front of the house the dog came around to the front from the backyard.

The killer dog was coming for me!  I froze, ready for the attack. 

Instead of an attack, I heard the sound of happy dog feet. Next, he was gently pawing my leg in an attempt to get me to pet him. I knelt down on the ground with him and pet his head. I was able to really see him this time. He was an older dog, with grey fur. He seemed more like a gentle giant then the ferocious beast I pegged him to be.  

I got up and his owner came outside and waved. As I walked away the gentle guy (the dog, not the owner) joined me for a little bit of my walk.

And when he turned and ran back to his house, I felt confused.

How was that the same dog and owner that I had so much aggression towards for the past year?

In my meditation practice, I have had the same sort of confusion. How can the same practice seem life-saving one day and so torturous that I don’t want to do it the next?

The same practice feels peaceful one day and chaotic the next. Why?

The answer is causes and conditions.

We are always being impacted by the conditions around and within us, often without awareness around it.

How we feel during a particular day may change how we see the same person or situation.  

Did we sleep well the night before? Are we stressed? Are we in pain? Are we in love? Did we just get a raise?

These are all conditions that impact the way we react to the people and world around us. To add to that,  the person that we are in relationship with is also being influenced by their own conditions.

We also have our social, cultural, and personal conditioning that influences our perception. Our own personal experiences from the past often overlay what we experience today.

When we get into trouble is when we have an encounter with someone (or some dog) and freeze that encounter in our mind in a way that keeps those conditions in place forever, even when they are no longer present.

It seems I perceived the same dog in two completely different ways because of causes and conditions in my life.

 A year ago, I was having a bad day and had not slept (you can read about another one of these days here). This clouded my ability to see the old dog clearly. I honestly do not even know if he was running at me anymore or just walking down to the street from his yard to say hello.

In the second meeting, it was a nice day and I was feeling good. Even though the story I kept telling myself about this dog impacted my reaction to his presence, I was feeling rested and nourished. This grounding enabled me the opportunity to see clearly what was in the moment – not what happened a year ago.  

The other possibility is that the dog (and I) changed over the past year, which also happens as we are not static individuals. What I know for sure, is that I am no longer stuck to my story about this dog.

I think about some people in my past that I still have anger for or judgments about.

What causes and conditions were present during our encounters? Have I frozen them in an unfair way the same way I did to my neighbor? The blame and anger does not feel good inside me, yet it still rears its head when these people come into my awareness. 

As usual, I emphasize that anger is not bad. I actually believe anger is a healthy emotion. It empowers us to act, feel, and make changes.  I like to let it rip! (in safe, conscious ways). And there are times when anger justified. I will not argue that. What is not helpful is when anger freezes into resentment and vengeance.

When I bring insight around causes and conditions to my past experiences, it softens my reaction to whatever or whomever I feel stuck in a pattern of resentment toward. It doesn’t take my feelings about a situation away (I don’t aim for it to) but it softens something.

And while I do not make excuses for some actions or want to spiritually bypass an event, it empowers me to choose how I relate to my anger. I choose to feel it and keep it moving as much as possible. I have seen this insight empower my clients over and over as well.

Have you ever experienced causes and conditions in this way?

A great way to understand how causes and conditions impact your life is to practice the loving kindness meditation. Over time, you will start to see how your views and opinions of the same person (including yourself) change with varying conditions.

Enjoy ~

Six Keys Toward Getting “Unstuck”

My intention in my practice is to support people to be who they are, no matter whom that is.

 

Often, we try to fit ourselves into something we are not or who we think we should be. This can cause us to shut down parts of ourselves that don’t fit the mold of what it is we are trying to fit into.

 

It can also cause us to hold back from our longings. But it doesn’t have to be this way.

 

Below are the keys I often see as pivotal in working with the fear that stops us from being who we are and going after what we want:

 

 

 

Key #1 Being Willing To Question: 

 

 

Question whether your well-being, safety, happiness, growth, peace, acceptance, acknowledgement (whatever the word that resonates with you) is really found by fitting yourself into the person you think you should be or by holding back from something you long for.

With openness and curiosity begin to question if these beliefs are true.

 

It isn’t about changing our beliefs; it’s about becoming aware of them so they are not running the show. By doing this, we create more choice and we are empowered through choice.

 

Key #2 Working Within The Energy Field

 

We are often taught to set goals, work hard, etc. These are great tools but when used this advice is lacking

And when we stay stuck it can start to feel like there is something wrong with us. But there is so much going on beneath the surface of our awareness that is steering our life.

 

 

Even if we are not aware of something consciously, it will be found within the currents, patterns, and blocks within the energy system.

 

It is not only our own patterns that can be worked on within this system but also ancestral patterns, family structural patterns, and energetic structures within the country we live or were born in, they all play a role.

 

Just as we are essentially setting up a pattern interrupt with our beliefs and thought patterns by questioning them, we can do this same thing in our energy field.  This is often a forgotten place in traditional medicine. One of the modalities I deeply respect is Brennan Healing Science but…

 

there are many  wonderful modalities out there, find one that works for you.                                                                                                  

 

Key #3 Finding the Positive Intention:

 
What is fear? What does it do for us? How can we be with it differently?

 

Fear is not something to be ignored or pushed aside. It is to be respected and worked with and sometimes it has a good point to make.

 

The positive intention of fear is to keep you safe from harm. But fear can get confused. At times, your fear can still be operating from a danger that happened in the past. When this happens, a split-intention can be formed.

 

Essentially, you are playing an internal tug of war with yourself (often unconsciously). And when two parts of you are pulling in opposite directions, you stay stuck.

 

Look for the positive intention behind the part of you that may be holding back.  Is it keeping you safe in some way?

 

When you see the positive intention behind what is keeping you stuck or struggling, you can relate to it in a new way. This means you can work with your fear, rather then against it.

 

 

Try asking yourself if there is anything that fear is doing for you. You may be surprised.                                                                                   

 

Key #4 Learning To Be In The Unknown (times of transition):                                                                         

 

I often see clients start to drop beneath their patterns and beliefs into a deeper part of themselves.                                                                  

 

They start to build a new relationship with themselves and the world. Essentially, they are beginning to create their life from the inside, according to what feels meaningful and authentic to them.

 

Yet this way of creating is new, unknown. For the first time for many, they are not stepping into a structure that is already made. They are creating their life moment by moment from within.

 

This can be a point where they question themselves – is this even possible? Am I being ridiculous? Why bother!  They can become frantic looking for a solution and possibly jump into an old pattern out of fear.

 

In this stage, there has been lots of internal work, yet those shifts have not yet manifested in outer life.

 

At this point, everything seems to be all over the place without solid plans or solution. While it can feel unsettling, it is a pivotal part of the process, not a sign of failing or that something is wrong.

 

 

This phase is like swimming in an ocean with (nothing solid to hold onto) with driftwood (old patterns) floating by ready to provide false certainty.

 

Learning to be with this uncertainty is a large part of the process. It is these times, when things have not yet come together when there is the most capacity for growth.

 

This can be a tempting place to question  if we are on the right track or maybe decide to give up our dreams all together. Learning to work with each phase of this energetic pulse is key.

 

We have to be able to tolerate swimming in the unknown.  The more of our authentic self we have gained, the more we can trust and “float” in this part of the process as we watch the driftwood (old patterns) float by.

 

The un-patterning work clients have been doing allows their energy running to run in a way that is supportive and can help ground them during this time.

 

A wonderful tool for this time is mindfulness. If we can stay in the present moment, we can feel grounded, stable and calm during times of the unknown. Find a teacher, class or listen to a guided meditation on your own.

Key #5 Shift the Focus From What to Why:

 

Instead of focusing on what you want focus on why you want  it.

 

We are going to be more willing to take a risk when we have spent time feeling into the ‘why’ behind what we want to do or change.

When we take risks we are challenging our old ways. The fears that kept us stuck will show up (maybe even stronger).

 

In the midst of the fear we can lose sight of why something is important to us. The feeling behind why we want something will be the drive behind the journey. It often gives us the courage we need to take the chance.

 

At the energetic level, we are letting our energy run without restriction. We are accessing our inner resources, our unique qualities, and inner longings. We are also working to align our intention.

 

Touching into this feeling will support you to create from who you authentically are while bringing you a sense of calm, stability and excitement.

 

 

 

Why is it important to you? What does it mean to you? What will it bring you? Others? 

Key #6 Build The Energy System – Learning to Embrace Healthy Risks

 

The shifts that happen through our work in the sessions build an internal foundation so that clients can empower themselves by bringing the same shifts out of the healing room and into their lives.

 

Is there something you have always wanted to try but have held back?

 

Is there something you have wanted to create?

 

Are there qualities or skills you have wanted to explore? A way you have always wanted to live? Try it out!

 

It doesn’t have to look perfect. Striving for perfection or waiting for life to be perfect before trying something new is often hidden fear holding you still.

 

The outcome doesn’t have to look how you thought.  By continuing to take small healthy risks toward what you desire you are moving into a life that fits who you are and brings you joy.

 

Why? Because you are going to grow so much from the experience.              

 

Our energy system is like elastic. It can be constricting and held tight due to habitual patterns. Inner-work will begin to unravel and loosen the constriction. By trying to take a small risk toward what it is you want, you are going to continue to “stretch” or more so “build” your field.

 

Try taking a step that is outside of your comfort zone.                            

 

Pick one that feels scary but also seems do-able. That way you can build your field in a more ease-ful  way then taking a huge step (stretch) all at once and having the elastic band (your energy) field fling back!

 

On the physical level, this will begin to show as a feeling of excitement or openness to taking another step, rather than dreading it or not taking it at all!

 

If you are interested in exploring this further, I offer a free Exploratory Session!

 

The intention for these sessions is to help you gain clarity into what may be keeping you stuck, and how to work with it in a way so that it no longer stops you.

 

If you would like to learn more about how I work with clients and what that looks like, we can explore that too – but there is no obligation.

 

Click here to learn more!

 

 

 

 

Community and Meditation

I am often stretching myself to open to concepts that seem larger than my human brain can fully understand at the moment. Because of this, I have had to become conscious about actually integrating what I learn “in theory” into my own experience and then actually put it into practice in my life. If I skip this step, it can start to feel like what I am studying is separate from “real life.”

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What is Brennan Healing Science? How can it help me?

What is Brennan Healing Science?

Brennan Healing Science is a specialized holistic healing modality developed by former NASA physicist, Dr. Barbara Brennan. This highly skilled modality combines high sense perception (the ability to perceive energy fields) and hands-on energy work within the human energy field (HEF). The HEF is an energetic field found in and around our physical bodies.

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Trust Your Gut

People often get the idea that they should figure out what they want in life, set their path and stick to the plan no matter what. If that is the course you took and are currently living a happy and fulfilled life, I’ll be completely honest, there is a part of me that is jealous. For myself and many others, the path we chose at an earlier age eventually started to not feel right.

How I feel when I wish I had trusted my gut.

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