I am often stretching myself to open to concepts that seem larger than my human brain can fully understand at the moment. Because of this, I have had to become conscious about actually integrating what I learn “in theory” into my own experience and then actually put it into practice in my life. If I skip this step, it can start to feel like what I am studying is separate from “real life.”
People often get the idea that they should figure out what they want in life, set their path and stick to the plan no matter what. If that is the course you took and are currently living a happy and fulfilled life, I’ll be completely honest, there is a part of me that is jealous. For myself and many others, the path we chose at an earlier age eventually started to not feel right.
I teach meditation in a city with a high homeless population. I drive by homeless people almost every day. On the way home tonight I noticed a couple on the side of the road who were obviously without a home. Oddly, I didn’t notice any homeless people on my way to class. They must have been there but I was not. I was somewhere else off in my mind.
I have STRUGGLED with insomnia for as long as I can remember. Last night I didn’t sleep at all. With work and homework due this week, I was more than agitated this morning.