How to Mindfully Work with Thoughts Without Dismissing Your Experience

One of my favorite bumper stickers—gifted to me by a dear friend—reads:

“You don’t have to believe every thought that you think.”

I received it before I became a therapist, right around the time I began exploring meditation more seriously. That was when I first started practicing mindful awareness—noticing my thoughts, pausing before automatically believing them, and gradually increasing some space from them. Another phrase that’s often shared in mindfulness and therapy circles is:

“Thoughts are not facts.”

And while this can be incredibly helpful, it can also be dismissive if we’re not careful.

Working Mindfully with Thoughts and Without Dismissing Real Experiences

In therapy, clients sometimes beat me to the punch and say something like:

“I know the thought isn’t a certainty—but that doesn’t mean it couldn’t happen.”

And they’re right.

Questioning thoughts mindfully can create more space and flexibility in how we relate to our inner world. But when done too rigidly, it can feel like we’re brushing aside very real fear, grief, or distress.

That’s why I often return to the concept of “the middle way”—a term from meditation that encourages us not to hold things (including thoughts) too tightly or too loosely. We can recognize a thought as part of an anxious loop, and at the same time, not be dismissive of the emotional weight it carries.

A More Compassionate Approach to Thoughts

When you notice yourself stuck in a future-oriented thought loop or painful rumination, is a gentle question to try:

As I am thinking these thoughts, what emotion am I feeling?

Naming the loop for what it is can bring a little space. But instead of jumping to logic or trying to “fix” the thought, see if you can shift your attention to the emotion underneath. Is it fear? Worry? Dread? Adrenaline?

Too often, we acknowledge that a thought might not come true, but we skip over the feeling that it brought up. That feeling is still real. And it’s there, in the present moment, where we have more access to compassion and choice.

Honoring the Inner Experience

Working with thoughts isn’t about arguing with your mind. You can recognize a thought as just one possible outcome without denying its emotional impact.

Tending to that emotion—maybe through gentle self-talk, mindful breathing, or naming it out loud—can ground you. You don’t need to invalidate the fear or pretend it’s irrational. Some thoughts are pretty close to facts. You’re simply expanding the lens: this thought is one of many possibilities, and I can care for what I’m feeling right now.

That’s the middle way. And it’s often the kindest path forward.